heathicorn:

apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so

image

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE

crimewave420:

I’d quit playing if this happened to me tbh

heterophilia:

Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.

fr0ntal-lobotomy:

I really don’t understand people who don’t dance like strippers while listening to Lana Del Rey tbh… Like wow you must have some insane self control.

LOOK AT THIS PINK GIRAFFE

EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

LOOK AT THIS PINK GIRAFFE

EVERY TIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH

thrashturbate:

x

shutub:

squidinthesky:

All of my friends are fun, talented, cutie-patooties, and I’m just here like

image

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TALENTED THT WAS THE MOST MAJESTIC THING IVE EVER SEEN

squeakadeeks:

YES!! YES!! SWIMMING!! IN COSPLAY!! MY FAVORITE!!! and don’t come up all sassing me about waterproof grey paint, all skin is photoshoped.

in fact everything is photoshoped.

I’m not even in these photos. these photos do not exist.

squeaks does it again. 

My wonderful big sissy sister photographer!!!

kingcheddarxvii:

gaypee:

slimydad:

I can not stop watching this

this video has disrupted my entire day

im going to queue this forever

this is the last thing u see before u die

Bo Burnham is the only reason why I still have faith in mainstream comedians. He’s just great okay.

gamko:

Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.

gamko:

Oh, no, of course, you’re right. My mistake.

babeobaggins:

this is still SO FUNNY

babeobaggins:

this is still SO FUNNY